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Often incoherent ramblings of a gypsy with tethered feet

Wednesday, May 3, 2006

7:08PM - Sheesh ... getting conservative in my old age

You Are a Liberal Republican

When you tell people that you're Republican, they rarely believe you.

That's because you're socially liberal - likely pro-choice and pro-gay rights.

You're also not so afraid of big goverment, as long as it benefits people and not politicians.

You are the most likely of any Republican type to swing over to the Democrat side sometimes.

What political persuasion are you?

Current mood: busy

Tuesday, April 18, 2006

11:52AM - An english genius * moi *?

Pretty easy test

English Genius
You scored 92% Beginner, 100% Intermediate, 100% Advanced, and 93% Expert!
You did so extremely well, even I can't find a word to describe your excellence! You have the uncommon intelligence necessary to understand things that most people don't. You have an extensive vocabulary, and you're not afraid to use it properly! Way to go!

Thank you so much for taking my test. I hope you enjoyed it!

For the complete Answer Key, visit my blog: http://shortredhead78.blogspot.com/.

My test tracked 4 variables How you compared to other people your age and gender:

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You scored higher than 21% on Beginner

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You scored higher than 31% on Intermediate

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You scored higher than 59% on Advanced

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You scored higher than 79% on Expert
Link: The Commonly Confused Words Test written by shortredhead78 on Ok Cupid, home of the 32-Type Dating Test

Current mood: busy

Tuesday, February 28, 2006

7:55PM - I need a vacation! meme

Train through Europe
You scored 74% culture, 30% social, 27% activity, and 50% adventure!
A train trip through Europe is a fantastic way to enrich yourself with many different cultures within a relatively short distance. The train service in Europe is out of this world and almost always on time. It doesn't lump you together with a group since you prefer to be independent, yet it takes the scariness out of navigating around a new country in a rental car, trying to make sense of the map. The train system brings you from downtown to downtown and there are often hotels within a short walk of the station. You could decide which countries interest you the most and if you are eligible, buy a rail pass in advance to save a bundle of money. Arriving at a European train station is an architectureally beautiul way to introduce yourself to a new city and it sets the perfect scene for your new experience. If you had fun dreaming about where you might go, don't forget to rate my test. Thanks!

My test tracked 4 variables How you compared to other people your age and gender:

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You scored higher than 99% on culture

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You scored higher than 20% on social

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You scored higher than 20% on activity

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You scored higher than 60% on adventure
Link: The Where Should YOU Travel Test written by thinkandcome on OkCupid Free Online Dating, home of the 32-Type Dating Test

Current mood: tired

Friday, February 24, 2006

6:19PM - Whoosh ... where *did* the month go ....

Apart from going to work during an insanely busy period, I've been spending most of my free time studying EFT (Energy Psychology) which I have just about completed prior to taking my certification and advanced certification exams.

During the month I watched the slow sad decline of my little cat Chili Pepper. I assumed she was going through a rough patch with a cold or other "bug" until the day I found her half dead on the carpet in the basement. She could barely move or speak, and her eyes were glazed and milky.

She was a "visitor" to my home a year or so ago and adopted me and my other cat that I had recently adopted from the SPCA. She was always skinny but loved to eat and drink and beg for special treats. She was a friendly, chatty sort, having a bit of an exotic breed in her, perhaps balinese, as evidenced by her pointy snout, exotic eyes and siren-like cry.

When I knew I couldn't get her to the vet for another few days, I tried Reiki and EFT on her, asking her to please hang on a few more days. She rallied pretty nicely, got up from her sick bed to follow me around and pester me for little treats.

Today I took her to the Vet. And this is where it actually gets *funny*. I plonked her on the examining table and told the kind doc that my little girl was ailing and I didn't know what was wrong but that I was worried he would advise having her put down. He chuckled and said, "Your little girl is actually a little boy - in fact - an old boy of, I'd say - 12 or 14 years!" It turns out he has a rather huge benign thyroid tumour which is causing all his symptoms to be in overdrive.

The vet sent me home with medication and a request that I try and get a urine sample from him and return in 10 to 14 days.


Current mood: accomplished

Saturday, January 14, 2006

6:35PM - Dr. Phil (argh!) does me meme

41 to 50 Points
You scored 45!
Others see you as fresh, lively, charming, amusing, practical, and always interesting; someone who's constantly in the center of attention, but sufficiently well-balanced not to let it go to their head. They also see you as kind, considerate, and understanding; someone who'll always cheer them up and help them out.

My test tracked 1 variable How you compared to other people your age and gender:

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You scored higher than 33% on PhilPoints
Link: The Dr. Phil Test written by archangelm127 on Ok Cupid, home of the 32-Type Dating Test

Current mood: amused

Friday, January 13, 2006

7:01PM - Something to shoot for

Wading for months through the quagmire of hopelessness, grief, despair and disillusionment has worn me out. I do not want to do that anymore. It did help to have helpful various sets of ears of nonjudgemental and patient friendlies, enabling me to get that toxic sh*t out of my system.

Yeah, so I invested a helluvalot of time, energy, money and emotion in the last couple of relationships with self-absorbed men, and now I have grieved long enough to get most of it (and them) out of my system. I still feel somewhat angry; I hope it’s not a lingering anger at men in general. Ack! It can’t be. I still prefer men as friends, although the couple or 3 closest female friends I would not trade for any man. In any case, it is time to stop trying to figure out what went wrong, cut my losses, and set little goals. Little baby steps into the arms of the future, whatever that may be.

To this end I’ve plonked down $175.00 which I could not afford, really, on – imagine this – myself ! This is quite a novel concept. In any case, I have enrolled in the 12 week Body For Life fitness challenge starting this coming Sunday. The contest will finish towards the end of April, and I hope to win as I did last year. The first prize usually consists of something like a 6 month gym pass, 3 months free access to tanning booths, discounts on gym clothing, etc. This year, a lot of local businesses are contributing prizes so it will be bigger than ever, and there will be a lot of competition.

I have a lot of damage (physically and emotionally) to un-do. As such, it will be great to get back into the fitness and healthy eating regimen, hang with other gym rats, and watch the fat melt off my body as I build up muscle tissue. The high I get from “the burn” and the endorphin blasts is always a bonus. I like to work with weights to just beyond the pain threshold.

Oh, and sly lady that I am, I have added another little incentive for myself. I have suggested to a certain PJ who just returned to the ‘raq this ayem for a 4 month stint, that if he stays safe and alive, he is very welcome to come up and visit me in Canuckistan “where the natives are friendly and the beer is cold.” If he’s not too shy, I think he might just do it. In his own words, he said he was “very tempted”. And I will want to look my best …;). He does know my personal history, and he is clear that it is not a “boyfriend / girlfriend” thing inasmuch as I’m tapped out emotionally and financially and have little to offer apart from friendship and Canadian hospitality, including the beautiful scenery and warm camaraderie of friends and extended family that is associated with my neck of the woods. Every visitor is treated to a BBQ and Beer bust by the canuckistanian welcome wagon.

Yeah. Imagine this. I’m starting to look forward to the future. I’m no longer curling up at night wanting to die.

Current mood: mellow

Wednesday, January 4, 2006

4:44PM - Which Red Dawn Character R U? (i've never even seen the movie)

Andy Tanner...The Colonel...

Which Red Dawn Character Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

Current mood: amused

Sunday, November 27, 2005

7:40PM - Okay, I think I have this security thingy figured out ...

.... I am converting my posts to "friends only". I guess those who want to see/read 'em have to be logged in. It took me a while to figure that out myself to read other's LJs. I'm guessing that most LJ users by practice remain logged in. And so I travel in the way back machine and start putting "friends only" security levels on them.

Current mood: dorky

Saturday, November 26, 2005

11:19AM - Now *this* makes perfect sense

You scored as Medic. Your a medic. Not really into fighting people, but prefer to help and heal. Your a caring person who generally wants to help, but don't fight. But instead you heal the injured. Your a brave person, but most people generally regard you as foolish because of the risks you take to help others. But you don't care because your a battlefield medic.







Support Gunner


Special Ops


Combat Infantry








Which soldier type are you?
created with QuizFarm.com

Current mood: calm

Friday, November 25, 2005

8:18AM - Changing security options

Due to the nature of my work and other aspects of my life, I am making this LJ available for now on for reading only to people on my f-list. As it is I only write about a small portion of my life.

Current mood: awake

Thursday, November 24, 2005

6:38PM - In the interest of my sanity, Christmas will be cancelled this year ...

I can’t do it this year. I don’t want to do it. I will not be buying a tree and decking the halls with boughs of holly. Except for perhaps having sis and her family over for Christmas dinner, I’m going to stick around home and be on call for work. I won’t even be sending Christmas cards.

It’s just too overwhelming.

Today I was talking on the phone with a friend, and we were discussing a mutual acquaintance who tragically lost a friend to an IED in Iraq. She commented that this is a terrible time of year to lose anybody to death. I responded that the holiday season is hard on any person who has suffered a loss during the year. I was not even thinking of myself.

After I hung up the phone I decided to go for a drive to the Mall to do a bit of a walkabout. Somehow, for some reason, I was shocked to see that it was all Christmas-y. Most shocking of all is the fact that I started to experience panic attacks, and I very rarely get panic attacks! I just couldn’t understand it. I had to get out. I had to escape the gift booths, the plastic Santas, the Christmas carols blaring through the speakers, the throngs of excited kids in Toy-land, the grownups meeting and greeting each other laughingly lamenting how much they were going to spend this year on their kids and thank god the strike is over and there is money in the bank. I felt compelled to run to the parking lot and find my car. I had to go home.

It wasn’t just the holiday hoopedy-do and tacky tinsel, it was the flashbacks. The memories. I walked into the bookstore and remembered that this is where I purchased some books this time last year to send to Iraq in his Christmas package. Next door I went to the gift shop and saw the little “magic amulets” that I bought and stuck into the package and that would guarantee him a safe return home. I just knew he would come back to my welcoming arms. And he did; he made it back safely. And just down the hall at the coffeeshop/bistro was the table where we sat this past spring over designer coffees and gooey exchanges of love.

And then I remembered the last time I saw Mauricio a few years ago which he spent with me in Canada. It was Christmas. Serendipitously we had a record snowfall here, and he hadn’t seen snow for years, living as he did in Chile and then Texas. He was amazed at the brilliance of the snow and of the love and affection for which he had long starved, having lived/studied in a seminary environment for a few years. I will never forget the child-like joy in his eyes as he saw his first raccoon as it came to my door looking for handouts by way of cat food or Christmas dinner leftovers.

Mauricio was the first man who asked me to marry him to whom I said “yes”. I could not have even imagined that upon his return to South America he would melt away from me, meet someone else, and marry her. Christmas hasn’t been the same since.

That M. and C. should be so much alike, say all the right words to win my heart, and then disappear into the ethers under extraordinary and incomprehensibly similar circumstances is more than I can understand at this time.

Although I am not the slightest bit interested in Christmas this year, I am not going to allow my spirit to be completely broken. I mentioned to red in a phone conversation tonight that I have fantasies of saving my pesos to visit him and 2H6 in El-Ay this spring with a view to perhaps flying from there to visit some very beautiful people in Tennessee (hi Mr. and Mrs. Lemmen!)

I am progressing. I’m not giving up on life. I’m not even thinking in terms of a cancer relapse. I am thinking of the future. I want to set little goals. I want to overcome the despair that this time of year is bringing. But don’t even think of asking me to deck the halls. Christmas is highly overrated. I want to sleep and drink through it.

I'll get through it.

Current mood: lonely

Tuesday, November 22, 2005

10:46AM - Back from the liver scan ....

The technician who gave me the ultra-sound scan is an acquaintance of mine. She advised me that I have the same big old gallstone that I've had for a long time, but that it was not in a situation that would cause my liver enzymes to be wonky. She also said that I probably should have it out, even though I'm asymptomatic, because there is a slight correlation between gallstones and gallbladder cancer. When I talked to a surgeon a year or so ago, he thought it was best just to leave it since it wasn't causing me discomfort.

So, I guess the Oncologist needs to figure out why my peripheral blood results, particular alkaline phosphatase and phosphatase, are off. As he said, it is usually something to do with liver and/or bone involvement.

It could very well be a delayed effect of the chemotherapy I had a few years ago. Or, it could be ... worse ....

So far, I don't think I have any more tests lined up before I see the Oncologist the second week in December.

Current mood: tired

Monday, November 21, 2005

6:25PM - Memo to self: No after midnight runs to the fridge ....

By orders of hospital nothing to eat or drink after midnight tonight and nothing by mouth until after my 9:45 a.m. liver scan tomorrow.

Had my flu shot today; it was no big deal. I then went to the office for a couple of hours to catch up on paper work.

Over the next couple of days I've been assigned some rather challenging clients. My heart really isn't in it these days, but I will give it my best shot. My office has told me that I can back off from heavy duty cases, or even take full time off for a while, but I feel that I should keep involved else I will want to just throw in the towel for good.

I have a relative who is giving me grief inasmuch as she is drawing me into her personal drama by way of confiding in me about her extramarital affair of earlier this year which threatens to become very public. So far her husband is oblivious, but I don't see how he will be in the dark much longer.

Ordinarily I would try to be as nonjudgemental and supportive, but this has left me feeling very p*ssed off at her and the way she betrayed the man (her husband) who is a gem, a very good guy, who treats her like gold.

I realized that I can't deal with this in a dispassionate way inasmuch as these days I am identifying too much with the victim side of this equation. I still feel raw from my own personal heartbreak.

However, I only broke down in tears one and a half times today.

I guess I'm getting better.

Current mood: tired

12:46PM - Just when the local medical community didn't think they'd see another ....

.... I just found out that someone in my town has recently been diagnosed with the same rare bone marrow cancer that I had (myelodysplastic syndrome), and he has been sent to Vancouver for a bone marrow transplant. He is a relatively young Pharmacist/owner of a local drugstore, and evidently he's very scared. He thinks he'll be away for up to a year. In my case, I was "only" in Vancouver for some 4 1/2 months receiving treatment.

I hope he does okay.

Meanwhile, I am still undergoing tests and will see my Oncologist the second week in December.

Current mood: contemplative

Saturday, November 19, 2005

11:57PM - So I did my civic duty

From 4 to 8 p.m. I worked for the municipal elections registering new voters. And from 8 to 11:30 p.m. I counted &$*)$U*(UDJU*X ballots, the most gawdawful thing I've had to endure for a long time. I ended up bug-eyed.

There were ballots for the mayoralty race; ballots for city council; ballots for school trustees; various referendums.

I just now crawled in the door only to have my 3 cats hound me for treats.

My head feels mucked up from sorting, counting, recounting, and recounting again.

I donated my stipend to a local charity.

Current mood: tired

12:14PM - La amistad .... my experience of being a Citizen of the World

For several years, I participated on a number of latinamerican lists through which I met lots of good friends and learned to read and write in spanish. Over the past year or so, I've pretty well dropped off, although "el moderador" of the main chilean list has tried to maintain contact with me. I brought him up to date re. my status, and he reminded me in an email this morning that even the latinos appreciated my sense of humour, although it didn't always translate well ...%)

----- Original Message -----
From: Almeja del Río
To: ngm
Sent: Saturday, November 19, 2005 8:51 AM
Subject: Re: Hola!

Hi Nilo,
Please add me to the list,
I hope you a fast recovery...
We need you and your sense of humor.

ngm wrote:

I know you sent me an email a while ago, but I have lost it. In any case, I have been quite busy and dealing with "the stuff of life". Today I had a bone marrow biopsy to determine whether or not I have relapsed from my bone marrow cancer. I have been doing pretty well, but some of my blood is a little "off". I'm also going in for a liver scan. If I have relapsed, the doctor will put my name in for another bone marrow transplant. I think I will be fine, though, as a lot of people are praying for me and sending me positive energy.

Give my love and greetings to the members of diaspora.

- la nilo

Current mood: touched

Friday, November 18, 2005

8:47PM - My bavarian girl

This is my beautiful daughter whom I haven't seen for a couple of years. She emailed me a bunch of photos tonight, including this one of her dressed as a Bavarian girl for a party. Girl takes after mama (with regards to the beer that is ... note hat ... har!)

I'll be seeing her in a couple of weeks when I travel to her city on business.

Current mood: touched

7:08PM - Bwaaahhhaaa .... I'm prolly the lone virgin in my f-list ....

nilita's LiveJournal Slut Stats
The below percentages indicate what nilita has done with the 12 people on her friends list!




seen topless

seen naked

phone sexed

made out

oral sex


What are your LiveJournal Slut Stats?
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Current mood: amused

8:40AM - How could they know ....

Nocturnal Individual Luxuriating in Intense Touches and Affection

Current mood: calm

Thursday, November 17, 2005

8:51AM - Homebound

Well, I was "supposed" to go in to the office today and work by myself, as the rest of the staff would be off. It would have been an easy day as no clients were booked.

I woke up this morning not feeling well at all, tired dizzy, sick.

Just now one of the staffers phoned me and said, "Stay home! I decided to come in and work today."

I know my office staff are concerned about me. They know I haven't looked well lately. They're being very kind.

I'm starting to get a bit nervous about what the outcome of all my medical tests will be. I will find out the second week of December.

Current mood: sick

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